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THiS CLOCK NEVER SEEMED SO ALiVE

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(1 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

I miss this [02 Jul 2008|01:47am]
[ mood | happy ]

I haven't written in this thing in like two years and I wish i still did...maybe I'll start again...i love this journal with all my heart bc I can always go back and remeber what my life was like i miss this thing so much...sometimes i just need someone to talk to or just let my feelings out ....i feel like no one even reads this and they probley dont which doesnt matter bc it just feels like my journal =] 


note to myself - i am in love with the most amazing boy ever & I dont think i could be any happier...couple years ago i for sure thought I was in love and knew it was love...but compared to this that was nothing....this is really love =] 




<3 
me

( Nothing to prove)

Must be doing something right [31 Dec 2005|04:52pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Lovers and Friends ]

OK so this is my Last Livejournal entry of the year
and yes i still do use this thing bc i love it its like my diary and so heres all the last memories of 2005 good or bad there all here =)and for some reason i have a really good really 2006 is going to be a good year so i hope im right =)

*Going over Martus with Erin and ordering our hungery howies and *Dancing like crazy ppl in her moms room haha
*Meeting Steve for the first time
*Spending New years at Erins Aunts house and eating like a whole box of pizza
*2004-2005 Cheering for Boys basketball season
*Holding the LCN Inventonial and Competeing for my first time and *WINNING FIRST PLACEEE ...also had like 10 feet of snow that day
*Another year of Me n Erin being best friends =)
*Having Math Class with Becky Krystina and Stephanie We Cheated so bad in that class and going to Micky D's for Test Review
*Watching Notebook with kyle
*Having the worst Flu over Winter Break
*Spending Valentines day with Kyle =)
*My Sister Turning 18 !!!
*Going to Beckys after last varisty game with everyone
*My mom getting a flat tire that night and me n britt standing out in the freezing cold at like 1 am haha
*Me n My sister went to the Hospital to vist my Nonna and all of a sudden u see this old guy going down the hallway doing like 50 on his motor wheelchair thing
*Me n Erin going to the boys last swim meet and stealing Anthonys and Richies signs
Going to Snowcoming with Kyle...and Going to richies house afterwords
*Going to Ohio with erin for her Dance Competition
*Finding out that My Uncle Bob had cancer
*March 26th Erin thought it was a good idea t otake a walk yea it was fucking cold out our eyes were watering n shit so we most deff ran all the way home n once we got home we were like weezing lol it was bad
*Kyle bringin us taco bell for freeee
*Meeting my soon to be Stepbrothers for the first time
*Bringin my nonna home from the hospital
*Going to my cousins communion party with krystina
*Me turning 15 woohoo
*starting drivers training best class ever had funniest times =)
*Trying out for 2005 Football season and making it
*men Kyle breaking up after like 8 months = worst day of my life
*May 14th 7:45pm Finding otu my Nonna Passed away =( R.I.P. Anna *Frasetto 8*12*1928 - 5*14*05
*The viewing and the funeral for my nonna =( hardest day of my life....but krystina was there with me the whole time
*Watching the air show on top of matts house with all the boys
*Driving with Ellie and Erin on E yaaaa
*All the good times at Josh's and walking home at 2 a.m scarey shit
*my dads aunt n uncles 50th Annvirsey party =)
*Last day of being Freshman
*Going to Cedar Point with the Cheerleaders
*Going to the Fireworks with Ashley and Krystina
*Going to CHeer Camp
*Meeting one of the greatest girls Ashlee Marie Jesse
*Family Pinic with Ashlee Sean Kalena and Corey
*Riding Ashlees awsome scooter all over the place haha
*Starting Sophmore Year
*Finally Meeting matt at the villages of rochester
*Meeting Kimball and Kieran
*Times in the car with steve josh ashlee and Erin
*Meeting one of the sweetest kids Tony =)
*Homecoming 2005 =)
*Getting stung by a bee for the first time
*All the times with matt kieran and erin
*******LAST BUT NOT LEAST FINDING OUT THAT ON NOVEMBER 19TH 2006 ERIN AND I ARE GOING ON A FUCKING CRUISE TO JAMAICA COZUMEL AND COSTA MAYA FOR A WEEK YAYAYAYYAYAYYA =)


Im off to Jefferys with Erin krystina alyssa n Stephanie and like the whole damn crowd

but tomorrow is Jeffery Thomas Whites 16th Birthday so I have to say Happy Birthday to him and I love him Bff =)

<3
Amanda

(1 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

You are the only one that I could ever want [12 Dec 2005|08:03pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | If you were mine ]

So I havent updated this thing in like who knows when but I decieded I was going to bc when months pass i come back to these things and read bout what I was doing...Basketball season started last week on tuesday we went to lincoln and me n britt rode the freshman bus bc she wanted to see Todd...so yeaa freshman lost Jv Won of course =) and varisty lost...got home around 10 and i still had to take a shower n do hw and i didnt feel like it so I stayed home on wed but it was a half day so w.e...Friday we went to Chippewa and again me n britt rode the freshman bus bc I wanted to see my bestest friend in this www (my REAL best friend) Beau play basketball =) during the game I went to go n talk to his dad n such umm chippewa whipped freshmans butts =/....it was our turn and we lost by 20 after the game I went to go talk to beau for a while =)...after we had to stay for varisty n it was such a exciting game ahh it was sweet...got home did w.e...Saturday I think I just stayed around the house cant remember ne thing..Sunday went to the mall and got xmas presents =) and yeaaa no game tomorrow which means practice =/ 4 more days till break heck yes =)


<3
Amanda

(4 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

[19 Nov 2005|05:32pm]
Yeahh last weekend I got stung by a bee for the first time in my life and I have to say it stinged very bad I was crying like a baby but I dont care and the spot is itching me for some reason haha kinda random o well yesterday after school me britt n shauna went over to the middle school and I got to see mrs.mcgee =)but we helped out with the cheer team for a little bit came home around 4 and Kieran came n got me and me erin matt n kieran went to steak n shake for a little bit came back to my house to find something to do after a while we went to taco bell and rented house of wax so we came back to my house and watched it I liked it =) today ive been cleaning all day and I have some homework that needs to be done two days this week of school yay =) but I have test in like all my hours tuesday =( monday Im goin back to the middle school to help with the cheer team and then tuesday I have practice myself till 4 this whole break ill probley be with erin =) I hate thanksgiving its like the worst holiday invented but 1year from now me n Erin will be on our CRUISE in the warm hott sun eatin our turkey on the ship =)o yea I also figured I need a boyfriend bad so if u have ne suggestions I would love to hear them =)

<3
Amanda

( Nothing to prove)

We can Make this night last forever [11 Nov 2005|07:37pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | 4ever ]

Yeaaa so its a friday night and of course im home...We had cheer practice today deff. feels good to be doing something I came home and me and my sister both got into a fight with my mom and she wouldnt talk to me so I walked out the door...life has been so stressful lately and its mostly bc of school but tomorrow Im going to spend the night at my pookies house and its gonna be the shit =)Sunday Im going with krystina to her other cheer gym out in port huron and then Im goin back to her house and spending the night there...I took a great amount of time today and read all my old notes it deff made me cry and miss how things used to be =( I wish It could all go back to the way it was ...I havent had much time to do ne thing lately and I miss hangin out with Ashlee bc I love her =) Before I end this thing I have to say that Nick Spencer is my Hero for life and I love him sooooooo much and I dont think I could ever thank him enough for what he did for us =)


<3
Amandaaa

(1 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

[28 Oct 2005|08:33pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Time ]

Yea I havent written in this thing for a while I dont even remeber whats the last thing I wrote but Cheerleading Season is over for football and our last game was very exciting and fun nice way to end the season umm I think the next day we had a pizza party and our coach told us she wasnt coming back it was sad tears were shed Last saturday me n erin went with her mom to a mall out in livonia there wasnt much stores but they had the big department stores with all the purses =) I got a pair of sunglasses n thats it we also ate subway for lunch and umm there was like no room for us to eat so we froze our ass's off n ate outside Later on that night me n erin went to ashlees house n hanged out there took some pics n yea so her mom was plannin on driving us home and she got sick so me n erin ended up walkin home but we werent even like 3 feet n we were freezing n we were croved in stuff head to toe lol so we called steve n he came to the rescue thank god This week went by pretty fast I had 4 testt today it sucked ass once I got home I wentto the mall with my mom n what not then like a hour later I went back out to the mall with my sister but I layed in the car wrapped up in a blanket and everyone was staring at me Tomorrow Im so freakin excited for me n evan devin r heading out to rochester to go see our loves Kieran =) <33 and have some fun next week I get my baby Im pretty excited =)n yeaaaa Im out

<3
Amanda

( Nothing to prove)

[11 Oct 2005|01:18pm]
[ mood | sick ]

So today is Tuesday and Im sittin at home being sick last night after practice I felt like complete shit n couldnt move so I went to bed at like 830 and set my alarm for 10 for laguna but I slept right through it I was pissed so this morning I was up at like 4 layin in my bed and I asked my mom if I could stay home n she said I could so I slept in until 12:30 and then I talked to Erin on the phone n yeaaa so about Homecoming I had fun and all but I have to admite I had alot more fun last year o well....Saturday Morning woke up at 10 and then left around 11 to get my hair done I got to see krystina for a little bit =) my hair only took like 40 mins which is suprising after that me n my mom went to kohls to look for jewerly n then we got some taco bell =) once I got home I went to my dads for a little bit bc he was moving in his house very exciting umm went back home my sister did my makeup put on my dress and then went to my nonnos for a lil bit and then went to erinss waited around for katie n matt to come took some pics n what not and then we all went to Laurns house waited around for everyone to get there and it started to rain and all that fun stuff once everyone got there took some pics by the fire place and outside on her porch then we were off to THE OG as kasey says it lol Kasey was makin everyone laugh like the whole time lol it was great and then erin started to feel sick so I went to the bathroom with her n sat in there for like 15 mins lol but its ok bc I love her went back bc our food was there n ate like 5 bites and went to the limo...got to the school around 7:10 andit was freezing I was shakin to death got in there took pics with some people and started to dance =) but I didnt get to dance with my pookie alot bc she got sick again =( scott m ended up goin which was pretty sweet got to see alyssa m and jenny I miss them both alot and toward the end I started talkin to Sarah.r which was pretty sweet shes my new friend =) after the dance we all shoved in erins moms car and went back to her house n watched some mean girls we passed out by like 130 and then erin went to the er =( poor erin I felt bad when she came home she woke us up at like 945 so i was dead tired layed around n ate donuts my mom came n picked me up n I went to my dads for couple hours n watched the football game n what not yesterday had cheerleading practice it was gay as fuck waste of my time I cant wait till this season is over n thats bout it =)

<3
Amanda

(2 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

Why Cant I breathe whenever I think about you [30 Sep 2005|10:40pm]
[ mood | sad ]

So lately my life has been so shity Wed would of been one year if me n kyle were still together and I still think bout him all the fucking time and I tryed to get over him but that person just fucked me over too so Im done with boys Today was pretty nice I have to admite after school I went to Erins house we pretty much just hanged around n played some video games haha for a lil bit at like 6:00 Kieran and Matt came to get us we went to target for like 20 mins and walked around looking at random stuff went to the movies around 7:00 to go see Into the Blue I liked it alot =) it had the hottest guy in there Paul Walker after the movie we drove out to the park in new balitmore and watched the stars and then me n kieran walked off and went on the bridge by the water it was soo cute its what i always wanted to do with a guy and I swear I seen Fireworks goin off lol after gettin frozen we walked n went on the swings n talked =) around 10:00 he drove us home n thats my nite but it was so sweet i loved it =)


<3
Amanda

( Nothing to prove)

I learned to play on the right side so I dont get hurt [25 Sep 2005|12:56pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | because of you ]

Monday-After school we had cheerleading pictures and it was just horrible it was so windy and dark but w/e
Tuesday We had cheer practice
Wed- after school krystina came home with me and layed around and watched coach carter around 11:00 her mom came n got us and we spent the nite at her house
Thursday got up around 10:30 ate breakfeast hmm went online took showers watched sweet 16 and First daughter and then headed out to the freshman game it was pouring so hard out by krystinas house I was hoping the game would be canceled once we got to the game it was all sunny =( but w/5mins left in the freshman game it got really dark so it was delayed n yea me n britt sat in the car with my mom n it started to pour so my mom left
Friday we had our assembly it was gay if u ask me it was so short this year w/e after that Came home and krystina came over around 630 and my mom was gone the whole night so we were tryin to find something to do we went outside to go get brian but we ended up hangin out with sean and casey tozer and this john kid n went places haha =)thats all that needs to be said me n krystina came home around midnite tryed to watched a movie but passed out
Saturday me n krystina got ready most of the day I went to famous footwear with my mom got some shoes for me and then we went to petco and seen all the kitties =( afterwords I went to erins house n her mom drove me n katie n erin to the movies we seen corpses bride bc erin wanted to see it and brett also came went to wendys afterwords ...came home n sat online till foreverr
Today goin to mejiers with my mom and seeing my dad =)

<3
Amanda

(2 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

[18 Sep 2005|02:51pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Make her feel good ]

Sunday Erin and I went to her aunts house and I got to see Alex since like 5 months I was so happy hes the cutest thing ever Most of the time me n erin chased him around and we also got some taco bell =) Later on that nite we came back to erins house n had dinner. Monday erin came over n yeaa Tuesday and Wed. I had cheerleading practice Thursday we had a game at Warren Mott during the 3rd quarter we had a stunting contest doing qp's and my group most deff won =) after that since our team was loosing we didnt feel like cheering so everyone was going crazy and doing there own thing and I'm pretty sure our coach hates us Firday after school I rode the bus home with erin and fell asleep untill 5 then got up and took showers ate pizza and then around 7 Kieran and Matt came n picked us up and we went to the football game for awhile after half time it started to rain so we left and came back to my house n watched American Wedding Yesterday I had to wake up at 945 to babysit my cousin and I went to the mall with my mom and got some clothes from Hollister and went back to my aunts house to babysit my cousin till 7 ..came home around 8 and erin came over we rented movies watched one of the movies and I fell asleep during half of it we went to bed around 1230 and then my love called me =) but I didnt stay on the phone long bc yet again this morning at 945 I had to wake up to babysit me erin n becca watched this barbie movie the whole time it was actually good =) Tomorrow is school and Im not excited bc im dead tierd so later on im watching coach carter. Tomorrow I have pics for cheerleading n thats bout it !


<3
Amanda

( Nothing to prove)

[10 Sep 2005|10:07pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | tv ]

i dont remeber what i did over labor day weekend haha pretty sad i know all i remeber is one nite kieran came n picked me erin n britt up n we went to the movies out in rochester to see red eye it was good i guess but it was really short afterwords kieran drove us home i felt so bad bc he had to go home by himself later that nite me n britt spent the nite at erins house and thats when Kimball left me the funniest drunk message i heard in my life lol Tuesday and wed i had cheerleading practice it was soo gay ive been having so much homework i hate it Thursday we had a game at anchor bay it was so cold out towards the end of the game we lost but by like only one touch down so its ok i guess Yesterday Erin came home with me n we layed around n what not got ready for the gamee hanged out there for the nite i had to say that i had a really good time =) katies brother came n picked us up came home went online n then went to bed ya kieran called me at one in the morning and i dont even remeber what happened and then anthony called me at 3 i was soo tierd so we were only on the phone for like 15 mins and then this morning he calls me again at 9 i was ready to kill him lol i got up around noon took a shower and then me n erin went to beckys suprise party it was alrite afterwords we went to anthonys =)n hanged out with him n becker we went to beckers house n watched orange county and anthony had to go home for a bit so me n erin n becker hanged out with mateo n got a tour of his house afterwords we made mac n cheese at beckers haha it was good and then went to anthonys n hanged out around 9 my mom came n got us n yea tomorrow i get to see erins baby cousin Alex im soo excited i miss him

<33
Amanda

( Nothing to prove)

Baby Baby dont bring me down [03 Sep 2005|11:00pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | My ring tone ]

so school has started my classes are ok i think my favorite is 3rd hour photo =) umm nothing has been happenin really except i have cheerleading practice and gamess Thursday was the first home varisty game it was ok i guess it was something different to do on a thursday nite I was supposed to go up north with ashlee but my mom wouldnt let me so yeaa Yesterday me n erin went to the cingular place and i got a cell phone woop woop =) and afterwords we went to the mall and meet up with Matt Kimball and Kieran hanged around and then went to taco bell yummy afterwords went back to the mall and did whatever later on that nite britt came over and we went rollerblading in the dark and i talked to kieran on the phone for a lil bit bc hes sweet =) umm yeaa later on that nite i talked to the love of my life until 3 a.m it was crazy i was soo out of it but its ok bc i love him...today woke up got ready went to mejiers with my mom came home went rollerblading and then britt and erin came over and we walked up to this lil park thing and went on the swings and sat n talked for the longest time and then we came back to my house n watched the real cancun and dirty dancing tomorrow were hangin out with matt and Kieran and then monday hopefully ill get to see my fav person =) and then backk to school yess =/

<3
Amanda

( Nothing to prove)

Reach for your toes [25 Aug 2005|12:51pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Get Loose ]

Holy Shit lets just say Tuesday nite was one of the scarest and funniest nites of the summer
So after practice me n erin hanged out with crabbypants n corey for a lil bit while ashlee was done with practice so once she got to my house Steve and his Cousin Josh came to pick us up so at first we were gonna go to target but it was closed lol so we were all pimpin it out to the gangster music ahh so much fun and then we went to a park out by this cementary and hanged out there n then we were gonna go look for some haunted places but we were to scared lol so we went to Miami =) and went on the swings and Josh told us there was people in the woods and tryin to scare us we got back into the car and had drop josh off and then we got some taco bell =) and mom told us we had to be home a lil after midnite n we checked erins phone n it said she called so i called my mom back n she said some guys were lookin for ashlee so ashlee turns on her cell phone and theres like 5 voicemails from her mom but ashlee just turned it off bc she was to scared..we were then on our way to see the love of my life civ =) we told him we would be there in like 15 mins..so we get to his house and me n ashlee go to knock on his window and he fell asleep with the phone on and everything we were tappin so he would wake up and callin his name for like 5 mins n he didnt wake up so we called his house and let it rang once and he like jumped up aha it was the funniest thing he finally seen us and came out to see us and we hanged out there for like 15 mins and i was writing on everyones cars and finally we had to leave =( so i said good bye to my love and left we went to go turn down my street and ashlees dad is knocking on my dooor so me n ashlee duck n steve drops us off around the corner and i called my mom to make sure she didnt answer the door n she was sleeping so we were all good and we were walking back to my house when we see car head lites and we ran behind this guys house bc it was ashlees dad but he didnt see us so we were running back and there was bushes in our way so im like ASHLEE THERES BUSHES and she barges through them it was so funny and then we were goin back to my house and we see her dad coming again so we dove on the ground behind these cars and erins standin there sayin he seen her and it over but then we turned down the middle street so we ran so fast back to my house and threw off our clothes and changed into pjs and then like 2 mins later her dad came back again n he was pounding on the front door and i was to scared to answer so then he went back to my back door and i didnt want my mom to wake up so i messed up my hair n answered the door n he wanted to talk to ashlee and yeaa stuff went down but it was soo crazy but soo much fun at the same time last nite i had practice and then afterwords i came to krystinas house we got mickey ds on the way =) and we went outside on the trampoline but then our feet froze so we watched the stars n i read to her n then we watched the pacifer Today is our first gamee =) but were goin to freshman first bc we have pics n what not hopefully it doesnt rain but yeaa then Friday i mite go shoppin or see my love whos knows later on that nite im goin to party it up at ashlees bombfire =) Saturday me n erin r goin homecoming dress shopping and goin to meet Matthew ;) Sunday me britt n erin r doing community service at a car show n yeaa Mondays first day of school sweeet lol not

<3
Amanda



ilovehim =)

( Nothing to prove)

Im looking for a Dime ? [22 Aug 2005|07:19pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Stand by my side ]

Tuesday Cheerleading started yeaa nothing exciting after cheer i went n spent the nite at erins i finally got to see her after a week =) we talked alot n then we went in her basement n tryed to do some gymnastics haha
Wed we woke up at 7 got ready for crusader day woo hoo got my schedule n what not and then crabbypants came up there to meet everyone ahh im soo excited hes coming to our school we hanged around school till like 10 i came home n watched movies n sat around till practice but i cant forget my second love came over Ashleee =)
Thursday i dont remeber except i went to practice n then afterwords Erin came over n spent the nite and we went outside with crabbypants n corey got some more misqutoe bites =(
Friday we went looking again for my sister to get a car n on the way home we got taco bell n it was the best me n erin had in a long time u should of seen us afterwords we hanged out with sean corey nickoless n matt n played some hardcore football lol
Saturday I went to platoes closet and what not later on that nite i went to erins n spent the nite we played life with her mom n watched spanglish
Sunday we woke up around noon n went homecoming shopping but we had like no luck =( later on we came back to my house bc my sister was having a purse party and katie n ashlee also came over =) umm erin spent the nite and from like midnite till 2 we talked to crabbypants at my house =) fun timess
Today i babysat becca till 5 and then i got my physical done n yeaaaaa


HECK YESS LAGUNA BEACH IS ON TONITE =)

<3
Amandaa




Imsolostwithoutu

( Nothing to prove)

Give me your strength [14 Aug 2005|07:46pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | country grammmer ]

Monday i came home from ashlees house n got ready once my mom came home we went to the funeral home there was alot of freakin ppl there we ended up stayin for like 2 hours n then afterwords we went to dq n then went to go look at houses for my nonno n that lasted for another hour i was pissed but w.e
Tuesday Ashlee came over n so did brian n corey n then matt got a ride over there n we went to crabbypants house n hanged out n played some football later on we called civ n i talked to him on the phone for like a half n hour i was sooo freakin HAPPY =)
Wed we rode ashlees scooter to her house bc we were supposed to hang out with civ but he went skateboarding instead so me n ashlee went bowling with matt n adam we bowled soo many games n then we started to hang out with tim n his brother hahaha dont ask and then we came home n slept in her camper n had a freaking party and i talked on the phone with civ again =) we were gonna sneak out with him but her mom just gave us a speech bout it before we went in so yea
Thursday morning we woke up at 10:30 got ready n her mom drove us to civ's house i ran and gave him the biggest hug ever...we hanged out in his house and then we thought his mom was comin home so me n ashlee tok a walk down to 7*11 which was the stupiest idea everrr it was like 5 miles whoa never again n on the way back we went n got kyle ..once we got back we hanged out in front n got kasey n went for a walk n yeaaaaaa it was time to leave =( but i had such a fun time omg i love him soo much wow ...later on that nite civ called me again =) so we talked until like midnite or something
Friday ashlee came back over n civ wanted us to come over back again but we had no rides =( so me n ash rode her scooter back to her house n hanged out with her friend trisha n walked up to the store
Saturday i went to ashlees n we went to her cousins bday party n got to see her cousin Tyler god hes a hott one after that party we went to her cousins gf house n hanged out there ...we were gonna go to a another party but that didnt happen so we went back to ashlees n had a bonfire with her dad he was so drunk it was hilarous me n ashlee were in the computer room n around noon it got quite so ashlee tells me to go see if her dad is passed out and i open the door n i hear him snoring so loud but theres no one on the couch or chair so i see him layin on the floor me n ashlee eneded up taping it we were on the flooring laughin so hard haha
Today my mom came n got me n we went to the mall got some bras n alot of clothes from hollister n my mom bought me new belly button rings =) once i came home i went back to ashlees for like two hours to hang out with her n alex n thats bout it Cheerleadin practice starts again this will be some fun stuff

<3
Amandaa

(5 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

Im diggin all ur energy [08 Aug 2005|01:30pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | energy ]

I havent updated this thing in a while so i dont know how much i can remember Tuesday me katie n erin went to the mall and katies brother took us there all i got was a pair of jeans from hollister and then we walked around and these guys kept on following us and i got to see krystina =) afterwords erins mom came n got us we went back to erins house n ate dinner and watched whatever it takes n just hanged out and went on the computer
Wed i just came home n hanged around the house all day n cleaned my room n shit
Thursday erin came over n we hanged out with sean corey crabbypants n nick the whole day plus we got taco bell =)but then nick went to go throw cp a pop n it hit my toe n it was all black n blue and then like two mins later cp got hit in the eye with coreys handlebars n was freakin out and we stayed outside with crabbypants till like 1030 bc we were being eaten by misqutoes that nite me n erin were up all nite goin crazy dont know wut got imto us
Friday me n erin woke up at 1230 n my dad was calling sayin he was coming in a half n hour so me n erin were running around the house like mad ppl n we went car shopping with my dad for my sister n we went out in wut we slept in it was soo funny and the only thing we ate that day was swirley top or (Twisty twirl)ha good times erin =) later on that nite we went to the movies with sean pasquale and alec to go see dukes of hazzard it wasnt that bad afterwords went to wendys n blah blah i had to say good by to erin bc shes leaving me for a week
Saturday i woke up n got my hair done i got more highlites n got it cut a couple of inches afterwords i went over to ashlees n we rode her scooter to my house it was crazy n hanged out with all theguys for the rest of the day n we stayed out with crabbypants till like 1230 it was so much fun
Yesterday me ashlee n corey went to the park with ashlees family n had a bbq all freaking day n seans family also came =) we played some hard core volleyball n of course our team won all the games n then we all played on this spinny thing it was crazy everyone got hurt atleast once
Today im goin to a funeral =/ and then hangin out with ppl later on who knows summer is almost over n im soo sad it wasnt that fun but w.e and im loosing my tan but im soo excited bc my fav person in the www is coming to our school this year =) =)


<3
Amanda

(4 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

well maybe [01 Aug 2005|01:01pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | far behind ]

OOOOOOMYYYYFUCKINGGGGODDDD

i just have to say that i love kyle sooo freaking much i dont think ne one will understand besides erin i just dont care no more...no matter how much people tell me that i deserve better or he treated me like shit i dont care i spent the best 8 months in my life with that kid and i dont regret one bit of it even if we were fighting n ready to kill each other it still was the best i felt like i was in a fairytale he knew me inside out every detail he knew wut i liked wut i hated ..when i was sad he knew just how to make me laugh when i was mad or sad he would sit there n tell me everything would be ok and i believed him.... omg everyday i go through this ne time im alone i sit n think bout him n cry n cry n cry i try soo hard to get over him but nothing works i try to like other people but i dont feel the same way as i do inside as i do when im with kyle just the little things he does makes me feel soo good inside anything i do leads some way back to him even if i just walk out my door i swear its a curse i try to go to sleep n escape the pain but then i have dreams bout him omg ....just tonite when i was cleanin out my room i read all of our notes n they all touched my heart n every lil way even if they were short n simple ill never forget the way we felt bout each other n when he told me i was his life n he wanted to be with me forever.I found the one that ment the most n stuck it in my purse so whenever im sad i can take it out n read it..u guys probley think im retarted but i dont give two shits its almost one in the morning and i need to express my feelings rite now ahh i just wanna be with him again i would do ne thing in this world to have it work out even if i never talked to him again knowing he hated me or didnt care that wouldnt change my thoughts bout him at all thats how strong it is and i know im only 15 but he was my first love and im never gonna be able to replace it i cant take it ne more i miss his phone calls ..having him over all the time..sneakin him in my house..watching the notebook with him ..even though he didnt want to watch it he did bc i wanted to watch it =) watching the stars together fighting over the stupied controller ill never forget one bit of it bc he still really means soo much to me its crazy to believe


</3

( Nothing to prove)

I cant keep up im loosing so much time.. [30 Jul 2005|10:53am]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | You and Me ]

Everyday i go on qoute whore and spend hours reading all the qoutes and i find all the right ones and find words how to express how I feel here are some of my favorite ones =)



**Fights suck, but forgiving people is even worse. I'm not going to let go of all the things you said and I'm not going to pretend it never happened. Things will never be the same now that I know what you really think. But what hurts even more is you thinking I'd still always be around. Because the truth is, I gave up a long time ago. And I promised myself that I wouldn't let you change my mind. I dont want to be mean, but I'm keeping my hopes up that someday you'll grow up. And I sit here and think about everything that has happened this past year, not a single tear runs down my cheek. Maybe it's because I'm too hurt to cry, or maybe I'm just too mad at you, or maybe, just maybe, it's my hearts way of telling me this isn't over yet...**

**when you said you loved me, did you really love me,
or did the words just spill out like drool on my pillow?
`cause i was naked when you said those words,
but i felt covered in your whispered worship.
when you said you needed me, did you really need me,
or was it just someone? - oh, you`d take anything.
am i first on that list of yours? or am i second, or third?
when i said i loved you, it was because i loved you.**


**And tonight, I wish you were here with me,
So I could make you see the stars
they lay across the sky so perfectly
They remind me of all the times,
when we used to sit underneath them,
those summer nights
And fall in love.**


**do you know how it feels to be dead while alive, to fall asleep each night to the sound of your cries to have you life change in the blink of an eye to discover your reality was nothing but lies? do you know how it feels to want someone to blame to find yourself alone when your in the greatest pain to shed a river of tears at the mention of a name to realize from this date forward things will never be the same? do you know how it feels to learn your best wasnt good enough for someone you love to violate your ultimate trust to find out all those words were just cold-hearted bluffs to accept that the future holds no more promise for us? do you know how it feels to make a fresh start to keep a smile on your face after your whole world fell apart..**

**It's so hard to say "I love you", and not draw back in tears.
It's so hard to know that your not there to help me face my fears.
It's so hard to know the phone's at reach, but I cannot hear your voice.
It's so hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside.
It's so hard to just find feelings and, but I must hold back and not be hea now have to make them hide.
It's so hard to live without you, w much I love you rd.
It's so hard to go to sleep at night hen I need you more then air.
I want to scream how when I cannot dream of you.
It's so hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new.
It's so hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song.
It's so hard to sit and wonder, where did I go wrong?
I will never love another, I would rather be alone.**

**When it comes down to it, I've spoiled myself. I've watched too many chick flicks, and read too many fairy tales. I've come up with this vision of love that isn't true. Well, not true for me. The boy doesnt stop traffic to race after the girl, open up her car door, make some corny, heart-warming remark, and passionately kiss her. In my life, the boy keeps driving right through the intersection. And that whole chick flick, happy, nostalgic, perfect hollywood fairytale moment that was supposed to happen is left right where it hurts the most... my heart.**



<3




I cant keep my eyes off of you
Im tripping on words you got my head spinning
i dont know where to go from here ?

( Nothing to prove)

[25 Jul 2005|06:36am]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | nothing ]

im never online ne more so thats why this thing is never updated but all i can say is my whole week consisted of ashlee erin josh sean crabbypants corey matt n i think thats it ive been over ashlees house 24*7 bc i love her soo freakin much Friday nite i spent the nite over ashlees n we stayed outside with sean n matt till like midnite but before that me n ashlee took a walk all the way to kyles n then hid from him in the street bc were sweet n then ran back screaming n laughin the whole way wow i had soo much fun haha good times and then once we got back we watched harold n kumar go to whitecastles but we fell asleep in the middle of the movie the next mornining got ready n had to walk to the store to get her mom stuff but then we ate breakfeast at taco bell yess haha once we got back we drove ashlees motor scooter down by kyles house n saw josh on the way after i came home n then later on krystina erin ashlee n sean came over n my sister was having a bombfire sooo josh corey crabbypants also came over too once erin sean n ashlee left things got crazyy =) =) sooo much fun Sunday everyone came over n then i went to ashlees house n hanged out n blah blah went back to erins house n guess who i seen DAVID OMG i missed that kid so much i ran n gave him the biggest hug totally made my summer then we ordered pizza n talked =) today steve n jason came n picked me n erin up we all went to micky d's n then later on went to the park but it was ooo hott so we all went back to ashlees...but now im home n hopefully ashlee is spendin the nite tonite n last but not least LAGUNA BEACH IS ON TONITE OMGG YESSSSS!!!!!

<3
Amanda

(2 Nothing to lose Nothing to prove)

U say it best when u say nothing at all [18 Jul 2005|11:43am]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Be my escape ]

I really dont know wut to think bout life rite now to be honest so much stuff is happening and for the most part its bad i just have no clue wut this world is coming to seriously this summer is goin by fast and i havent done ne thing that exciting or meet ne one i think the whole problem with people is everyone is immature me n erin were talkin bout it the other nite and it made total sense some other ppl are acting reallly fucking gay and i feel like im loosing everyone its funny how someone can change once they start goin out with someone and erin knows who im talking bout =/ i just want things to go back how they were if i never met kyle my life wouldnt be fucked up n so depressed i would have both of my best guy friends back kevin n jeff i wish my nonna didnt pass away i wish it could be like last summer when it was me erin chris and matt 24/7 me n chris were soo close but now this summer im really close to josh trust me im fine with that too bc josh understands me and the only thing i got good out of it was a new bestfriend Ashlee Jesse =) shes the sweetest thing n im soo happy we became friends but other than that life is soooooo hard god..i wish i could be happy for once but life doesnt go the way u want it to....ok im gonna stop complaining Last week sometime ashlee came over n we hanged out with brian corey n matt n erin n we all went swimming that was fun later on that nite we went back ashleess n walked up to taco bell wow bad idea i think we all got sick lol afterwords we met up with josh n went to ashlee's dad baseball game that was alot of fun minus the fishflys Thursday me n erin went to the mall and i got a zip up and shirt from hollister its cute =) Friday we went to the movies to see charley and the chocolate factory i had a good time i guess but shit was running through my mind bout the douche bag sittin in front of me =/ but im glad i got to see matt i miss him =) Saturday nite i hanged out with corey nick n britt n nick was goin crazy throwing water all on me good times Yesterday me n erin went to her aunts house to go swimming i had alot of fun i felt like i was on vaction speaking of vaction ERIIINNNNN =) IM EXCITED BE OTCHH ....ne who lol her aunt also gave us sooo much candy n we were soo sugar high last nite i got so sick but thats bout it lol Today me n erin r hangin out with ashlee n all our fav guys tomorrow im goin to nicole klines for the float party
I also got a new sn Amandaaa3124 and a myspace =)


<3
Amanda



Theres a look in yours eyes saying ull never leave me

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